What if Mayor Quimby ruled the world?

May 13th, 2005 | By | Category: In Brief

The Mayor says he’s been working hard at trying to find those that hurt us but until then and really until much, much after, we’re going to have to worry that what happened will happen again, and again.

The Mayor says that we must be alert to these new dangers and that we must give him powers to watch us much more closely, as we much watch each other.

The Mayor is spending a huge amount to keep us safe. Most of it goes to poison our distant neighbours under whose land is a great treasure. They say that the poison only kills those with evil in their hearts.

When we remake their land in our image, their people will be happy, like us.

Then treasure will be shared.

The Mayor says his plan will keep us safe. Also I figure it teaches everyone not to fuck with us.

I sometimes wish those that hurt us would pay.

But it’s good we have the Mayor to protect us.

The Vice Mayor is a very rich man and thus to be envied.

He used to run a very important company and now that company is helping keep us safe. The company will remove the poisons from our distant neighbours.

Then the company will harvest the treasure.

Some say the Mayor cannot talk when the Vice Mayor is drinking a glass of bourbon and branch water.

The Mayor’s Opponents … I don’t think they know God, like the Mayor does. I fear they want to kill babies.

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